Becoming a Little More Dolly

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
— Romans 12:2

The world is mourning Dolly Parton, and it feels to me like a true loss of light. I think that is exactly what I have found myself mourning since yesterday: her rhinestone light.

I've unexpectedly cried a few times over the loss of a woman I didn't personally know, and I've wondered why. Is it simply because I loved Dolly? Is it because there is so much happening in the world right now that the loss of someone so joyful and familiar hits particularly hard? Or is there something deeper going on?

Maybe Dolly reminded us of something we desperately need right now. How to be in this world without becoming like everything in it: the negativity, the division, the inhumanity, the anger, the disrespect, the turning our neighbors into our enemies because of differences. Dolly reminds us what we already know deep down...we can see ugliness and still, on purpose, create beauty in our everyday life.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, the French Jesuit priest, philosopher and paleontologist, once said:

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

Maybe this is why our souls feel akin to Dolly. She is merely reflecting back to us, who we are at our spiritual core.

Dolly spoke openly about God. She prayed. She talked about faith as something deeply personal and described God as her best friend.

There is also an old saying by St. Francis of Assisi:

“Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words.”

Dolly seemed to understand that and live it, using her words to uplift and edify, to support, and of course to write. But mostly, it was the words she didn't use that were most powerful. For instance, she didn't judge; she didn't debate ideology, weigh in on hot polarizing topics or use her faith as a weapon. She just followed the Good Book and didn't need to tell everyone what Christianity was....she showed us. That's all.

I was lucky enough to see Dolly perform twice. Once with Kenny Rogers back in the day and again in 2016 and both times I realized that Dolly wasn't simply a concert.

Let me tell you, Dolly was a mind, body and soul experience.

You got the voice and the songs, of course, but you also got the stories, the humor, the honesty, the humility, the sparkle and this extraordinary warmth that somehow travelled all the way to the back of the room.

And she could laugh at herself. That may be one of the most underrated spiritual qualities on earth.

One of my favorite Dolly moments came in an interview when she was asked about gay marriage. After explaining that she believed people should be allowed to be who they are and love who they love, she was asked whether she supported gay marriage.

Without missing a beat, Dolly joked that of course she did — why shouldn't they have to suffer like the rest of us? Boom, classic Dolly.

But underneath that punchline was something profound. Love your neighbor. Not love your neighbor if you agree with them or if they share your same religion or vote the way you vote or dress and behave like you do. Just: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
— Mark 12:31

But there is another part of Dolly's life that is speaking volumes to all of us. She came from serious poverty and was just one of twelve children, who grew up in a tiny cabin in the Smoky Mountains with her parents and had 3 to 4 siblings to a bed. But even though she came from abject poverty, her dreams and her vision for what she wanted in life weren't impoverished.

And that makes me think of another scripture:

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…”
— Ephesians 3:20

Yup. Exceedingly...abundantly....and BEYOND what we can ask or imagine.

Dolly imagined. And then she worked and put those dreams and imaginings into ACTION.

She didn't confuse faith with sitting around waiting for God to drop a career onto that Smokey Mountain front stoop.

She dreamed, wrote songs, took chances, left home, knocked on doors, endured rejection, learned the business, protected her publishing rights, created, performed and kept going.

But here is the why I think she was so blessed exceedingly and abundantly. She stayed focused and disciplined about her dreams because she didn't spend years living in the past or feeling rejected or bitter at her beginnings. God tells us to forget the former things and do not dwell on the past (Isaiah 43 :18-19.)

Instead, she put that past of hers into full force using it as her fuel (For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you Jeremiah 29:11 and God works all things together for good, Romans 8:28) and then she removed any blocks to her dreams by forgiving and forgetting, living and letting others live, she ran her own race and she minded her own business except to shower people with her generosity, kindness and love. She also didn't fritter the gifts God gave her either. I'll let you look up the rest of those scriptures, lol.

Maybe being “in the world, but not of it” doesn't mean turning your back on this complicated, noisy, imperfect human experience. Perhaps it just means living in a way that doesn't allow for its lowest behaviors to get into or under our skin. Like when the world goes low...you know what to do. When the world is cruel, go the dignified route. When it is rude or cynical, write those songs and paint that canvas. When it divides, pull a Mr. Rogers and look for the helpers. When it tells you your unfortunate circumstances determine your future, pull a Dolly and say, not in my lifetime.

When we encounter the darkness of the day, turn on the light instead and focus on what is good and true and beautiful. (Philippians 4:8)

This is what Dolly did, and maybe this is why the whole wide world is crying. A great light went out.

But perhaps the final gift Dolly has left us is the reminder that light doesn't really disappear when the person carrying it leaves. It gets handed to the rest of us.

And maybe that is how we turn our tears into something extra good.

We pick up the torch.

And with that torch, we then become a little more generous with what we've been given. A little less interested in judging and a lot more interested in loving. We forgive faster, laugh louder, dream bigger, mind our own business, run the race God gave us, use our words to lift rather than wound, and stop wasting precious years staring at what is wrong with the world when we could be busy putting something beautiful into it.

We remember that faith isn't merely something we profess, but like Dolly, it is something we become.

And maybe that is what the holy aha in all of this. That perhaps the people who bring the most light into this world aren't here simply for us to admire. They are here to remind us what is possible in us.

And when the world gets dark, don't just stand there....turn on a light. Just like Dolly did. What an angel. She really was. Rest now sweet girl...I think millions of people are inspired today and hopefully beyond to pick up where you left off. You certainly made the world a better more beautiful place. Hopefully the rest of us will do the same in spite of whatever else might be going on in this crazy world...just like you did.